It Haunts Me Again..

Sitting in that dark room staring at the bright screen, trying to look around but can’t see anything except for the dark staring back at me, I figured there will be no use trying to check if someone is coming knowing that everyone is already asleep while I’m the only person awake waiting for anyone to show up, anyone that would keep me company for a while..

I look at the time in the lower corner of my screen, it’s 2:30am, something tells me I still have a few hours before I start feeling tired or sleepy.. I look outside the window next to the chair I’m on; I can feel the bright stars affecting all the buildings surrounding my area, filling the air with silence..

I turn around to my bright screen, I notice that half an hour has passed since the moment I moved the curtains to look outside..
I heard a sound, someone running, I try to listen closely, the sound begins to grow louder as if the person is coming towards me, but even with all that, I can still feel the safety in my room since I can’t see what it is, I wait for a moment, the sound starts fading away.. I can hear laughter, as if the sound was coming from a child, noticing that there are two sources of that sound, two children laughing, running after each other, shouting in a language I can’t pick up, I felt even more safe when hearing their laughter as I knew that no harm will come from them.. I look at the time, it’s 4 am, and so it hits me, “what are these children doing at a time like this?” As I soon as I asked myself that question, the sound begins to approach me, the laughter is becoming louder, I knew that something was going to happen, something not pleasant, I stand up, I walk back trying to concentrate to remove all the bright light in my eyes in order to see who’s coming.. The sound gets louder every second.. I knew that within any moment the children will show up in front of me, I can’t wait, I have to see who it is..



At that moment, before seeing anyone, I got that feeling.. The feeling that holds me from moving or shouting for help, as if there is a force growing with the sound, trapping all my senses.. I close my eyes just a second before the source of the sound shows up in front of me..

I wake up in my bed, my hands and chest all sweaty, even with the cold breeze of the conditioner and fan. I can feel my heart beating really fast as the feeling is still holding me, I try to move, and with every little movement, a large amount of that force fades away..

This is the feeling that has been haunting me for more than 8 years now, it keeps on repeating itself with different dreams and nightmares, and it attacks when I least expect it..

Now It's Definatly Over..!

Ok.. This week has been great, I had alot of fun with the guys watching the football games.. Ehim, yes France lost, Italians won, too bad, I really wanted France to win.. I've already blabbered about this in a dozen forums, better shut up now before you guys get bored of it.. lol..

Anyhow, the games were really great, me and the guys really enjoyed them and had a nice time making fun of the players.. :-P (Gay moment was the greatest joke.. lol)

Other than all these games, I got my marks, just last night.. 74.5% is good right? I only care about 2 things really, first, my father should be happy (Which he is), second, I should get a maximum in english (Which I got).. So it's over, that's it, full stop, no more school and no more worrying about all that crap.. Now the only thing left is getting accepted somewhere, so far I'm aiming for Germany, but god knows..

Speaking of exams, I passed the barrels exam, the slope and the signs.. I'm glad that's over, even though they tricked me with the slope, I stopped the car there and didn't get a chance to pull the hand break when the sign became green, I panicked.. Pressed alot of gas and there you go, the wheel's became 1 meter off the ground and did that sound.. lol Everyone heard it I'm sure, but I passed anyway because I'm white and I shaved that day.. LOL!

I'm just glad I'm not going back to those crappy dirty hot filthy grounds.. Even though it's a good place to hunt chicks, but I still hate it..

That would summerize this week, a very nice week indeed.. I even met someone new whom I already trust.. Welcome to the my group ;-)..

This summer is going to be the best, I can sense it..

It's Not Only The Music

I don't mean to brag about anything, I'm just writing this for people to know what I had gained after those years of practice, 2 years of carrying that piece of wood on my back walking from part to part in the Muscat.. I'm going to try to explain how guitars changed my life completely..

First I'd like to thank my music teachers, Abdulla Hammad, Joseph Gladston and Azzam Al-Raisi.. Even though they will probably not be able to read this post, I have to thank them as I owe it all to them, they had the time to help me practice, giving me the shortcuts and easy ways through learning this instrument.. And since the guitar has changed my life, then I can say that they are the ones who had changed it..

Learning music made me appreciate many talents, it made me think twice before judging a band or a singer, it made me listen to some types of music that I never liked, plus it pulled me away from the types of music that had no talents at all, the funny thing is that the no talent music used to be my favorite.. So anyhow, it simply pointed me in the correct direction when it comes to bands and musicians..

Playing the guitar isn't just about putting your fingers on the guitar neck and hitting some strings, no not at all, playing the guitar is about a person writing down his emotions and thoughts on notes. As through this person's mood, the music he creates in a curtain mood differs than the music he creates in another..
The guitarist doesn't really feel that what he is playing is somehow connected to his mind and emotion, he just holds the guitar and plays, but what mostly confuses musicians is the fact that sometimes when they try to play then notice that they are the worst ever, as if they had lost the feeling of the music, and sometimes they enjoy it to the level that they don't want to let go, not knowing that all this is built on what they are actually thinking about in that moment, or how much stress there is on their minds..
This explains why expert bands would prefer drinking alcohol or getting high on something before their concert or when they want to write down music notes or lyrics, you noticed?

This is not all, there is another important point that not everybody knows about.. Do you know any musicians? Try to think of a person you know very well who has been playing for at least 2 - 3 years.. Look at the personality of that person, you will sense something good in this person, you will notice that he/she has a clean heart, a good nature, but not necessarily a clean brain. This is one of the effects that playing an instrument has on a person, I'm not sure why this thing happens, but it does. Music somehow softens the heart. After many years of practice on an instrument, this person becomes very good deep inside, the outside personality may be different though, as it depends on the way this person grew up..
So you want your children/younger brothers to be good natured? Learning music would be one of the ways..

I am saying all this out of my own personal experience, after meeting tens of musicians on the road, looking at each and every personality; I don't recall seeing hate or anger in any of them..

One more thing..

They say.. Musicians are usually good in math, why? Because the part of their brain that is being powered up by music is also responsible for solving mathematical formulas...

-Solidus